


Trying to have an optimistic outlook

by Lamsburr



Series: We are not giving up before we've tried [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamsburr/pseuds/Lamsburr
Summary: Evan Hansen, the short, chubby, weirdo that nobody seems to like gets a fresh start at a new school. He sees that some people here are weird. Weird in the sense that they actually were interested in Evan. As if he were someone to like. Who on earth would like Evan?





	Trying to have an optimistic outlook

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first fic, i hope you like it. This will be a series (im still figuring out what ship it'll be) Also yeah i made Evan chubby, he's just too cute! Theres mention of anxiety and panic attacks n stuff so be warned!

Tick.. Tick.. Tick..

Evan sat outside the counselors office, the room was completely silent aside from the ticking of the clock, which was driving Evan insane. His hands were sweaty, his throat was dry, and he felt as if the room was spinning, don’t have a panic attack, don’t have a panic attack, he repeated to himself. Time seemed to go by slowly as he waited for the counselor to call him into their office. They were going to explain how the school works. It was Evan’s first day at a new high school, the place was huge. Far bigger than his old school, there were two floors and too many students. The place was overwhelming, it wasn’t helping that he was transferring near the end of the school year, which meant when he had to enter his new classes for the first couple times everyone would stare at the ‘new kid’. So many thoughts ran through Evan’s head; will i make any friends? Will anyone talk to me? Why am i even here? The school year is almost over. Will i look like the strange loner kid? Will it be exactly like my last school? All Evan wanted to do was cry. Of course, he couldn’t do that though, if someone saw him crying he’d look like a crybaby and make a fool of himself. He was already making himself a fool though by being in the counselor's office, it probably made him look weak and strange, an easy target for bullies. Thinking of all this made Evan’s head pound. He dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, maybe the pain would distract him from all the thoughts running through his brain.

Evan’s thoughts were cut off as he heard a door open, did the counselor finally open their door to let Evan in? Nope. Instead Evan looked up to see a tall, thin, lanky boy walk into the office. Fuck. He was pale and had piercing light blue eyes with bags under them. He wore a black hoodie and black jeans, what an emo kid. As Evan was looking at the kid who had entered the room he noticed he had a bloody nose and that the knuckles on his hands were bleeding and bruised slightly. That made Evan shiver a bit, he probably beat someone up, how hard would you have to hit someone to the point where your knuckles were bloody and bruised? Of course thinking about this made Evan nervous, he didn’t want to be the next kid to be beaten up. The boy walked over to Evan and took a seat opposite of him. 

He didn’t say anything and he looked like he wasn’t planning on talking to Evan at all, thank god. Evan let out a small sigh and looked down, before diverting his attention to the sound of someone walking in, again. Great. More people. This time it wasn’t someone who looked like he was ready to murder someone but rather a kid who was a bit shorter than Evan with a grin plastered on his face, he had brown hair and dazzling hazel eyes. He wore blue jeans, and a red button up shirt that was unbuttoned with a grey shirt underneath. He held some papers in his hand and a pen as he sauntered over to the round table that Evan and the other boy were sitting at.

“Well if it isn’t Connor Murphy. What’d you do now?” The brown haired boy asked, grinning as he clicked his pen to write something down. 

So Connor seemed to be the name of the kid that first walked in. Were these two friends? The other kid seemed to adress Connor in a mocking tone friends would use when the other did something stupid. Evan wouldn’t really know though as he never really had any friends. 

“Fight. Kid deserved it though.” Connor grumbled. He sat in the chair with his arms crossed. 

“Great,” The shorter kid said sarcastically, “Alana is gonna come in here in a min. A teacher told her to tell you that you need to write an apology letter.” 

“What? I’m not writing an apology to that asshole!” Connor sat up and put his hands on the edge of the table.

“Too bad! Go complain to Alana or the teacher. I have other work to do.” The boy put a piece of paper in front of Connor and grabbed a pencil from the middle of the table to give to him. 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Connor asked as he slumped back into his chair again.

“I have to show the new kid around.” The boy gestured to Evan. Evan felt awkward as the two stared at him. “Oh, by the way, I’m Jared. And this is Connor,” he pointed to Connor who just looked away. “He’s an asshole.”

"I am not!” 

“Mhm, says the kid who just beat someone up.” 

Jared looked back at Evan, “I’m an office helper. So i’ll be showing you around today.” 

Evan nodded. Was he supposed to say thank you? Well too late now. There goes seeing the counselor. It’s not like school counselors were much help anyway, well at least it seemed like that. Besides, they probably had to deal with Connor now. Ha. At least Evan’s not them. 

“Have fun with Alana, Connor,” Jared grinned. Evan watched as Connor flipped Jared off, which Jared glady flipped him off back. “Come on, new kid.” Jared looked over at Evan. Evan stood up with a sigh, the few months of school that were left were going to be.. Something. 

Jared walked out of the room and Evan quickly followed behind him. He looked around the hall, there were so many lockers, some had sticky notes on them. To Evan’s surprise, they were positive notes, some had jokes, some had pickup lines with phone numbers. None weren't negative or hate. Huh. He wondered if anyone would leave notes on his locker. 

“Your locker is over here.” Jared pointed to one of the lockers on the end. “A73. You’re actually not that far from my locker.” 

Was that a good thing? Evan didn’t know. It’s not like he cared, he wouldn’t have any friends so it didn’t matter who’s locker he was by. Jared then grabbed out one of the papers he had been holding when he first saw him. “This is your schedule” Jared began before pausing to take a glance at the paper, “Looks like we have most classes together. You have social studies, math, gym, art, lunch, science, and then reading and language arts. I have everything with you aside from reading/language arts, and art.”

“Oh- uhm, a-alright, cool.” Evan choked out. God he couldn’t look any lamer. His throat was still dry from earlier. He wiped his hands on his shirt because they were sweaty. Ew. 

“I’ll show you where all your classes are.” Jared said, handing Evan his schedule, which Evan took, his hands shaking slightly. 

Jared showed him where all his classes were, they didn’t go in though. Thank god for Evan. He would’ve died if he had to stand in the front of the class. Evan didn’t think he’d ever get used to a place this big. There were two floors, two gyms, and he didn’t even know how many classrooms. The place was like a maze, some hallways went in a full circle. Who the fuck designed this hell hole? 

“Before we go to class we should get you a gym uniform.” Jared said. Evan hated gym with a burning passion. It’s just a bunch of sweaty dudes yelling and getting too hyped to do crunches. Not to mention that Evan wasn’t in the best shape, he was a bit chubby. He got made fun of for that. 

“Alright.” Evan muttered, he hadn’t realised but he was frowning the entire time he was there. He couldn’t help it though. 

Jared took him to the office and asked what size Evan wore. Evan hated that question. Medium was his answer. Jared then went in the back and rummaged through some drawers. He came back out with an all black uniform. Black shorts that went down to the knee and a black t-shirt that had the school’s name on it. Jared handed the uniform over to him and gave him a quick smile. Evan ended up giving him a sheepish smile in return. .

“Let’s go to class now.”

The two boys went to their math class and Evan felt better that Jared was with him. He helped him with his work and they talked a little. Evan found out that Jared worked at lush and that Connor was a barista at starbucks. Talk about basic. Connor and Jared have been friends for a few years, they started talking during middle school when they were around thirteen. It happened when Connor had stabbed Jared’s science partner with a pencil after they said they didn’t like one of Connor’s favorite bands. Jared also told him that he ate a bath bomb. (“Connor dared me to! I never turn down a challenge!”) The stories made Evan chuckle, Jared and Connor were different. They weren’t snobby assholes like everyone at his last school. Was everyone at this school like them? 

After math class they went to gym. Might as well kill Evan now. Jared said he didn’t mind gym, it was a nuisance sometimes but he mainly just stood there and talked to Connor. Both the boys went into the locker room to get dressed. Evan hated that. He would have to get almost completely naked in front of others. Evan hated everything about himself, including the way he looked. 

Jared must have read his thoughts as he said, “You can get changed in the bathroom stalls if you want. I change in there as well as other kids so it’s not weird.”

Evan felt as if a weight was lifted off his chest and he followed Jared into the stalls to get dressed. He did so quickly and got out early. He tried not to look at the other shirtless dudes in the room with him. He didn’t realise but it made him blush. No homo though. 

Jared and Evan got out of the locker room and Jared spotted Connor. “Connor!” Jared waved Connor over to them. The tall kid walked over to them, “You’re hanging out with Evan?” He asked. 

That made Evan’s heart stop. Did Connor not like him? He wasn’t sure. It was hard to figure Connor out. Like a rubix cube. A rubix cube with long legs and shoulder length hair. His voice had a dead tone but it still sounded as if he were interested? It was hard to explain.

“Yeah, he’s actually pretty cool. A little bit of an awkward mess but he’s chill. I was thinking we could all get lunch together?” Jared asked, looking at both Evan and Connor hopefully. 

Someone had wanted to hang out with him? Evan Hansen? The kid who can’t talk to someone without stuttering every two words? He had no chill. Why would Jared want to hang out with him?

"Hm. Sure. But don’t expect me to get all friendly with him.” Connor said, he still didn’t know what to think of Evan. Maybe he actually was cool, Jared didn’t let just anyone hang out with him. That sounded as if Jared felt above others- he didn’t. In fact, Jared sometimes referred to himself as ‘the trash man’. If he felt above others he wouldn’t be hanging with the ‘edgy emo kid’. 

“Great. Food court?” Jared asked.

“Yes,” Connor answered for Evan and him, “Jared’s driving- i call shotgun!”

Evan smiled widely, without thinking. The two made him happy? He didn’t dare think of Connor or Jared as friends though. No. He couldn’t. They were just temporary, right?

Well at least he’d be having lunch with them. Evan looked at the clock on the wall, it had small bars on the front so that if a ball hit it it wouldn’t break. Only thirty minutes until the period was over. Then he’d have art, and then lunch.

“Connor whats your schedule? I wanna see if you have any classes with Evan.” Jared looked up at Connor.

“I have science, social studies, gym, art, lunch, math, and reading/language arts.” Connor said.

“Great! You have language/reading and art with Evan. Don’t be an asshole.” 

“Fiine.” Connor said with a smirk, he also had a bit of a glimmer in his eyes, was he enjoying talking?

The three talked for the rest of the thirty minutes of gym, and avoiding being hit by a ball. (“If a motherfucker hits me with a ball they’re getting decked.”- Connor) 

When the period was over they went into the locker room and got dressed into their normal clothes. Connor hadn’t completely warmed up to Evan but he was a bit nicer to him compared to how he was at the beginning of the day. Now Evan had art with him. Art was actually fun, for both Connor and Evan. They felt like they could express themselves with it. 

Evan and Connor told Jared they’d see him at lunch and they both left for art. They didn’t talk much but that was fine. It made Evan feel comforted just knowing that Connor was with him. Even if they had only known each other for a few hours. 

At the class the art teacher, Ms. Enskat, had something called the ‘drawing challenge’. Each week there was a small project, this week you had to draw a tree. A mythical tree. She said to add anything you felt like, anything from gold leaves to symbols carved into the trunk. This excited Evan because he loved trees and nature. He’d climb trees and just sit on the branches, reading, on his phone, or just watching the sky. He could get lost in the sky. It made him feel at home. 

Connor grabbed some paper for Evan and a pencil. 

"T-thank you..” Evan mumbled. 

“Mhm. No problem.” Connor sat beside Evan and started to draw.

Connor was amazing at drawing. His lines were clean and neat, his tree had a thick trunk and the tree had little to no leaves. The grass was fully grown though, and it had some small flowers. It didn’t have special markings but maybe it’d look different when he colored it. Evan admired Connor’s art for a few minutes before realising he was staring. He quickly looked away and began to start working on his own drawing. 

Connor noticed this. He found Evan’s admiring.. Cute? No- He couldn’t like the new kid. Not because he was straight, because he definately wasn't, but because he has only known him for a few hours. But deep down Connor knew he found it adorable. Connor was gay and he already came out to his family, his dad wasn’t happy but his mother was glad he had come out to her. Connor’s sister, Zoey, didn’t care, but that was around two years ago when their bond wasn’t strong and they hated each other. But the last few years they had started to try and mend their relationship. And it was working. They got closer and hung out more, Zoey painted Connor’s nails while they both gossiped about their classmates. They also did other things like get ice cream, go ice skating on thursdays, go to the orchard and more. Most of the things they did Jared and Alana accompanied them, but neither minded. It didn’t stop them from forming a strong bond. How does this relate to Connor being gay? Well, Zoey is always trying to set him up with dates. Alana and her sometimes plan out possible people Connor would like. To make Zoey happy he goes on these dates, even though they almost never work out. Maybe Zoey would try and set up a date with Evan. Internally he wished she would. He still thought it was stupid how he had a crush on someone he barely knew.

The period was almost over and Connor and Evan had drawn a sketched base of their tree. Evan looked at Connor’s paper, his eyes widened a bit, his art was amazing! “I r-really like your drawing, uhm, i-it looks nice..!” Evan smiled at him.

Connor smiled back, and it was a genuine smile. Evan made his stomach fill with butterflies and his heart skip a beat. Damnit Evan. Stop being nice. “Thanks.” 

Evan grinned and started putting away the art supplies, it was time for lunch. Connor helped him and put away his drawing. The bell rang, Evan hated the bell. It was obnoxious. The two got up and went outside to Jared’s car, Jared was standing outside and waved to them. Connor bolted to the car and jumped into the seat next to Jared. “Shotgun!” He yelled. Evan giggled and quickly followed, getting into the back seat. 

“Alright, kiddos, ready to go to the food court?” Jared grinned. Jared calling Evan and Connor ‘kiddos’ made him chuckle. 

“Yes, dad.” Connor smirked, looking in the mirror at Evan. 

Evan nodded and the three headed to the mall food court.

**Author's Note:**

> The pov changed sometimes but eh i hope it was easy to understand


End file.
